Verbal Aggression

Verbal aggressiveness is a method in communication, when one is verbally attacking another in order to  express oneself or to win an argument. When using verbal aggressiveness in communication, the communicator wants to intimidate others. Most of the time one uses verbal aggressiveness when one feels that they are being attacked. After feeling attacked verbal agressors begin to attack others. This method of communication is toxic, and it is not effective.

Often times when I communicate I’m not aware, of how effectively I’m communicating. For example, there have been times when my voice gets louder, and I’m not aware. Usually the person I’m communicating with will point this out for me. As communicator we are not always  conscious of our tone and body language during conversation. There have been many times when I’m upset, and try to cover it by acting professional, and not upset. People are able to still tell by my demeanor that I’m upset. From experience my verbal aggression has led to many relationships ending, because people feel disrespected by the way I communicate. Without communication a relationship is dead.

When asking my fiancé to take the communication test with me, his answers resemble the answers that I gave.  I’m really close with my fiancé so I feel like he knows me very well. He is able to rate me the same as I rate myself. I have a tendency to be slightly biased with how I rate myself. My fiancé answers to some of the questions were slightly stronger than my answer. Since most of our relationship is rated based upon our communication , he s able to rate me stronger than the average  person.

My personal goal is to try to be less aggressive when I’m communicating. If I feel triggered by the conversation, I can walk away, or communicate non-aggressively that I feel attacked. Various times that I have become verbally aggressive have been when I personally felt like I was being attacked.  If I happened to feel attacked I can respond by  expressing my self in a healthy manner. I know personally this works with my fiance. When I tell him I getting angry we both agree to talk at another time, once emotions aren’t as high.